Karma.......you fucking bitch

I had my follow up appointment with my endocrinologist yesterday and he was very upset to see that I had gained weight.  I tried  taking the "I've gained muscle mass" road, but he shot me down with a "bitch please" look and proceeded to tear me a new one. 

The truth of the matter is that Karma is paying me back!  Allow me to explain.  Last friday, my friend Miss D and I met for coffee at Seven Stars, a local bakery/pastry shop that sells some scrumptious desserts.  Miss D, who is also on the never ending diet making some dietary changes, wisely chose a biscotti to go with her sugar free/cream free coffee.  Yours truly, on the other hand, chose the ginormous pecan sticky bun!  And here's why Karma just won't let me be.......instead of quietly eating my pastry, I had the cojones to say to Miss D,  "this is how you do it at Seven Stars" and proceeded to make sweet lurve to my sticky bun.   So you see, it's not that I gained weight........Karma just won't let bygones be bygones. 

Also, on a completely unrelated note, I was on vacation last week and ate at restaurants with the word CHEESE prominently featured in their name (shout out to The Big Cheese Pub in Cranston and of course the Cheesecake Factory at Prov Place).  But of course this has nothing to do with the weight gain..........right? 

To All The Memaws and Pepaws

My friend's grandmother died today.  I lost my grandfather 3 years ago.  It has been by far the toughest and most difficult experience of my life.  Grandpa wherever you are, know that we are all okay and we think about you and miss you every single day.  We are better people for having known you, thank you for being a part of our lives.  We love you.   

Victorious

This is a post that mostly women will relate to.  Yesterday, I scored a $260 pair of shoes, for only $20.00.   They are the most beautiful brown suede hidden platform Michael Kors stillettos you can imagine.  I could write poetry about these shoes.  I love shoes, but most importantly I love getting a good deal on them.....or as my father would say "think" that I'm getting a good deal.  Mind you these shoes are sky high, maybe 5-6 inch heels and I probably will break an ankle when I wear them, but for now victory is mine!!!!

Getting Old

I don't know when it started happening, but it seems that I'm getting old.  My brother and I went to lunch at The Cheesecake Factory and were met by a teenaged hostess who greeted us with a silent glare.  No greeting, no smile, not a single word.  I approached her and told her we would like to be seated for lunch.  She silently grabbed menus and started walking away, expecting us to follow her.  My brother started to do so, but I told him to stay put.  The hostess was halfway accross the main floor when she realized we were not behind her.  She turned and gave me yet another glare.  "Were we supposed to follow you?" I asked.  "Yes", she responded.  "Well you didn't say anything and just walked away, we weren't sure what you were doing", I snapped.  The hostess smiled forcefully, apologized and lead us to our table.  Apparently my brother was impressed by this little interaction, but I just felt old.  Back in my teens and early twenties, I wouldn't have cared about this shit, but apparently now bitchy hostesses and dumb ass teenagers piss me off.  

Handicapped Stall

Nazi trainer has reduced me to using the handicapped stall in public bathrooms...........the bars along the walls are very helpful as I can't bend my legs.  All females know that when you use a public bathroom you don't sit, you just squat and try to avoid any physical contact between you and the toilet............well I can't even do this.  I'll have you know that I run at least 5 days per week, anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour.........but Nazi trainer has given me a reality check and brought me down several notches.  I see him again tomorrow morning........if I make it out alive I'll put up a new post.  

Nazi Trainer

After 2 hours of intense training and lots of yelling (trainer) and grunting (me)............my trainer finally let me go with one final recommendation.............have only a bowl of vegetable soup as the only form of sustenance for the rest of the day.
Right mother fucker..........I've been here since 11 AM with no breakfast and it's now 2 PM and all you recommend I have is a bowl of fucking vegetable soup. I can't believe I'm actually paying money for this shit.